Let’s take a peek at these 14 silly kitchen gadgets. I posted this for amusement’s sake but I must confess that I’m oddly intrigued by the Spartan Knife Set!
What are gadgets? While the terms gadget, utensil, tool and appliance tend to be used interchangeably, especially in advertising, gadgets are contraptions that are used for a specific purpose. It turns out that Americans are quite fond of our contraptions — to the tune of more than 1 billion dollars a year in sales. It’s no wonder that manufacturers, inventors, marketers and retailers are constantly on the hunt for new, unique gizmos to put on the market.
Some are great (where would we be without our vegetable peeler?) but I feel like the list of silly kitchen gadgets grows by leaps and bounds every year.
Let’s take a look, shall we? Here’s my list of the top 14 silly kitchen gadgets!
Just plain Silliness
This is a product that promises to make spreading cold butter a breeze! It claims to use “heat conducting technology” that transfers the heat from your hand to warm the knife.
Unfortunately, a full 27% of Amazon users were not impressed, claiming that it did not work as advertised, while another 14% felt it was just ho-hum. On the flip side, almost 60% of users gave it a 4-5 star rating, stating, for the record, that was a fantastic little knife. Do you suppose this is a case of “cold hands, cold butter”?
I’ll just soften my butter out on the counter for a few minutes before I use it and save myself $30.
It’s said to have a “proprietary cheese propulsion valve” that allows “complete control of cheese”. I’m sorry…what? Not only was I completely unable to type that with a straight face, but I also don’t even know what it means.
A full 66% of Amazon users gave this puppy a 4-5 star rating with comments that ask, “who’s ever had this much fun with their food?” and that it “perfectly squirts hot melted cheese”. It was even called the “perfect family activity” but I really had to struggle to find someone who had an actual use for it. One user built a house for her sons’ Legos out of cheese and crackers while another constructed an entire log cabin village in his room from pretzels and cheese. Someone else spoke of the very real prospect of Sunday morning cheese wars.
Did the 1-3 star naysayers point to the absurdity of this product? The $50 price tag? Nope. Incredibly, their chief complaint was that it’s difficult to clean.
Perhaps it’s me, maybe I’m just not a fun person. And please don’t try to prove me wrong by inviting me to your next cheese and potato chip crafting party. I’m busy that day.
Translation: Little claws for your fingers so you never, ever have to come into contact with the food you’re eating. Of the 70% of Amazon users who thought they were aaaa-maaa-zing!, the comment I enjoyed most was the gal who used them “because my work was having a hot wings potluck and I did not want to deal with a messy keyboard”. Because your work doesn’t have soap and water? I think there are bigger fish to fry there….
Not my cup of tea, but if you like ‘em, I’ve got a tip for you. The two-pair pack has a cost of $49.31 but if you buy in bulk, you’ll get 6 pairs for $14.95. The company claims this is due to shipping costs. Let that sink in for a minute…
Square Egg Press — Because It’s Cool To Be Square
90% of users gave this gadget a 4-5 star rating, mostly because it’s “neat”, “cool” and “quirky”. One lady uses it because her eggs will stay put on the dashboard during tractor pulls.
Another user pointed out its usefulness for deviled eggs and, OK, I get that but the device seems labor-intensive and time-consuming. It involves freezing the container for 20 minutes, peeling a hot hard-boiled egg, inserting it into the container and dropping it in ice water for 5 minutes. This is for each egg.
I guess you could drop $35 to get a 6-pack of these babies or take the long-winded advice from users who have put together assembly-line instructions to make the most of their time in the kitchen.
It just feels to me like the reviewers here are trying to justify spending their hard-earned dollars on a device that isn’t all that useful. Sure, it may astound the ladies at the church picnic the first time they see it. And, yes, it may be fun to tell your kids that you got eggs from a square chicken. Once.
Oh, but wait! Here’s one for Halloween eggs!. His name is Fred. I’ll bet if we look hard enough, we can find one for every holiday. If you think your friends would be impressed with square eggs, think of the hero worship you would receive if you could show up with seasonally themed eggs all year-’round!
The Grate Taco Cheese Shredder
The maker of this taco-shaped cheese shredder claims that you’ll want to make every day Taco Tuesday with this nifty grater that keeps your cheese “neatly contained until you’re ready to aim it at your enchilada”. That doesn’t even make sense considering that you must turn this “taco” upside down to grate which lets the cheese fall freely out of the top (or is it the bottom?). With both ends open, I can’t imagine that it “contains” anything.
It would appear that I’m not alone. 7 of the 10 people who reviewed this product were compensated for their views and it still only got a 3-star rating.
This ceramic cup of repugnance is marketed as an egg separator but that doesn’t seem to be its main purpose. Why? Because it just doesn’t work. The consensus is that the holes are too small to be effective. Apparently, the whites just hang there like…well…boogers.
Many of the almost 80% of people who rated it highly admit that they bought it for the shock value or collectibility of the item, not as a kitchen aid.
Condiment Dispenser Bottle Gun
This nifty picnic firearm comes with two refillable cartridges and a stopper to avoid accidental discharge (and presumed injury). On the off chance you should not consider this a gravely serious weapon of the highest caliber, the company is quick to warn you that this is not a toy, it should not be fired at the face or body of anything (man or beast) and it’s not suitable for children under 12 years old. I wonder if I would need a concealed carry permit to put this in my picnic basket?
The yayers and nayers are about equally split on this product. The nayers claim that it’s cheap and doesn’t work as advertised, although one user was quick to recommend that a Condiments Firearms Safety Course might be helpful.
The fans tell us that it’s a hit at parties and is especially fun for the under 12 set (the ones for whom this sidearm is deemed not appropriate).
As for me? I’ll keep that $21.99 right in my pocket. I couldn’t live with myself if someone were wounded on my watch.
Sir Perky Novelty Condiment Bottle Topper
This little guy lays his…ummm…below the belly button area across the top of your condiment bottle and when you’re ready (because this is all about what you want), he will release a liquid stream from his backside onto your sandwich. The advertiser recommends that you use protection and enjoy responsibly.
Sir Perky is also happy to stop up your wine bottle and or open your pop-top.
Over 70% of reviewers have taken pleasure in spending quality time with this little guy but I don’t know, man. He seems like a creep to me.
Sir Perky…back away from my mustard.
Gone Dark Side
Canadian Philosopher Matshona Dhliwayo once said, “A warrior proves his courage in the heat of battle.” I guess there’s no way to know how this battle ended but about 80% of reviewers seemed to think it was a win as they got to keep the knives
Nothing says, “Thinking of You” like this voodoo knife holder, especially when the knives themselves are made from Premium Stabbing Stainless Steel. While most reviewers thought this was a great conversation piece, others returned it for being creepy or because the humanoid is made from plastic.
And, yes, he was referred to as a “humanoid”. It’s like they’re pretending he’s not a person.
A little pricey at $7.99 but there’s nothing really wrong with this one. It’s just that I saw the title and thought (in horror), “Who would peel a monkey?!?!” I decided to throw it in here to see if anyone else had the same reaction. Anybody? No?
So There You Have It…
…the silliest kitchen gadgets I could come up with. What do you think? Would you buy any of these? Why or why not? What’s the silliest kitchen gadget you couldn’t live without?
Let me know in the comments below!
If you are actually looking for kitchen tools, check out my 17 affordable essential kitchen tools!
All my best,